I realized today that I will not be doing anything truly "fun" on this rotation. There were lots of fun things that came in today, but even after a flat out "oh I've done that a few times would you like me to do this one?" it was a "no I'll just do it real quick" response. There go my toenails, lesions, cryo-freezing and popping abscesses. 8 more weeks of this. Such is life. I did a sports physical for perhaps one of the most challenging and demanding sports a highschool sophomore could participate in - bowling (he didn't need a physical for chess he went on to tell me - and reassured me that we weren't playing tackle-chess in this part of the country). The glasses and pocket protector and bad hair cut I couldn't help but feel bad for the kid, I'm sure he endures some degree of teasing at school so I encouraged his bowling aspirations and my a few jokes about how I can't hit any pins without the bumpers and sometimes the ball goes across the lanes - both true stories.
I had a favorite, well interesting patient today, I'm sure if I saw her more than once I would go crazy. I no more than stepped in the door and I am ambushed by the 7month old's grandma with a detailed minute to minute update on eating, stooling and vomiting habits including exact ounces of food and what kind and what type of spoon or bottle used of her grandson for the last 24hrs. All of which was relatively unrelavent since the poor kid was eating and pooping and peeing just fine except for two small urps this morning. When I realized I could be lost in the abyss of the room forever I kindly asked if I could have her stack of papers to review in the hallway for a more thorough understanding. Is it bad to lie to a patient's grandma like that? I gently placed them into the chart and passed it on to my doc. Apparently she does this at every appointment, she keeps a running tab of every movement, hiccup, burp, sleep time, positioning, food, formula, you name it - it's there. Sometimes she even has pictures like smiley faces and a face throwing up and sleeping positions.
2 interesting websites to check out (thanks to the drug reps):
www.stopmrsanow.com
www.notinmyhouse.com
As what I consider almost the half-way mark of this arduous journey I can't help but think I'm not ready. There is no way I have enough experiences, no how or smarts to pass the boards and let alone work in a practice of some kind. There is so much I have forgotten and have so much to re-learn. When does it all come together. I even feel like my physical exam is slipping since I am trying desperately to keep us on schedule. I can't help but think my fellow classmates are soaring above and beyond me and I will be left in the dust and I am miserably failing the program in some way. I know I'm not miserably failing but I am definitely not on my game and not sure how to get back on. I keep waiting for it to come into place but no luck yet - when does this happen I wonder?
1 comment:
Interestingly enough, I was having the exact same thoughts of inadequacy last week. Why do I still not know ALL the medications I need to know? Why have I not done more procedures? Why can't I identify most of rashes I see? And what on Earth would I do if someone placed an infant in my care???
To be honest, to know that you are feeling this way makes me feel better, because I kind of figure that means it is normal. I know you're no slacker and there is no way you are actually failing...so I think we're probably doing ok. We're just your typical type A's.
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