Long Road Ahead

It's been one week, and although it moved along pretty quickly, I am realizing I have a long way to go and at this point I am not even sure it's worth it - the time away from my husband, the expenses, the strain this has put on everyone, including me. It's not just being homesick, but my whole way of life has been upset for the last 18months and for another 9months yet. The way I eat, sleep, play, the whole nine yards. I keep thinking it will get easier and better, but truth be told it's not. I am also realizing why I love the NW so much. It's so different from what I grew up with and Shawn and I have adapted quite nicely to way we live together and away from the Midwest but this whole experience has just upset the basket of apples. I'm not a big fan of change once I find a rhythm for something I like to stick with it. I realize being here for just a week, that won't be the case. I guess I just needed to vent. I am ready for this journey to end. The problem is, Shawn and I don't have a normal routine. Since we started dating I have been in school, and although I worked too we've moved so much that we haven't had any "us" time in a really long time, we don't even have our apartment unpacked from our last move. Once I graduate it'll be time to work (a lot to pay off those stupid loans) and we'll both be working lots to buy a house and another car and pay off my loans oh and kids (which were the first priority when we got married suddenly seem to be on the back burner) - I swear it's never ending. When is it time for us to just sit down and breath, enjoy each other, enjoy the rest of the world? There just isn't enough time for us to do everything and unfortunately it seems that the one thing being sacrificed right now is us and honestly, that doesn't work for me. And as I sit here, staring at my pile of papers to add to Typhon I see it's going to be a long road ahead.