Well it started again today - the good old fam rot part II. I can't imagine the rotation without the 2 week holiday break in the middle - obviously family med might not be for me.
Holiday break was great, went by way to fast. I met Shawn in Omaha the 26th we did Christmas with his family and we flew back to the NW late late late on the 29th. After a day of lounging, the dentist, a New Year's eve party, Shawn working a couple days and buying a fricking huge TV for our own Christmas present (and a dresser although not as cool as our new TV) it was time for me to return back to the land of Oz. The plane rides back to the midwest would have been fine except the dead sprint I made from one plane to the next in Denver ( I was A15 and not about to get bumped from being the first person on the plane) and the lady who came in last on the plane and sat next to me endlessly telling the girl on her other side how sick she was in the last two days - and i know first hand now how sick she was since I missed day one back at the ranch - I couldn't even keep down water. Feeling pukey but ready to go again this morning I strapped on the white coat and headed to the office. I know I'm sick when I passed up the chocolate glazed donut they saved just for me.
It was an average day in clinic. I lopped off a few skin tags and a seborrheic keratosis and cauterized them with the bug zapper. I saw a few WCC and made the mistake of calling a pint sized summo wrestler a he not she (in diapers there is no way to tell really). I got back into the swing of dictating - which believe it or not I can't imagine writing one single hand note ever again. Why was dictating so scary before? My favorite patient of the day - a 92 yr old lady in for her routine 3 month check. "well hello dear how are you? It's so good to see you! come here and give me a hug" She talked to me like we were long lost pals the entire time just catching up on things. And as the doc and I were exiting the room she grabbed my hand and pulled m into a long hug as she told the doc how sweet and kind I was and what pretty hair.
Two of my new year's resolutions: 1. make better use of my time (not that finishing my first quilt top wasn't good use of my time - just not sure how that will serve me academically. I can see my interviews now: well I have no idea how to treat that or what medication to use but I can make my points match in a tossed nine patch!), 2. more positive outlook. I tend to complain about this and that and everything in between. Bottom line - I am ridiculously homesick - even though I was just home. My husband is my best friend, confidant, my solid rock, support and greatest love of all - how could I not miss being around him and our routine and everything else about home? I've been hard on my rotations too. I think I'm just afraid that I'm not going to know what I should know or that my fellow classmates will have a better experience than me making them more prepared than myself or that in the end of this I will still feel clueless. Jobs? That's an entire other discussion. I am terrified about finding a job - one that I like, pays well enough to pay off my loans and a great place to learn, a place where I feel like I amm making a difference - all close to our home in Washington. - Like I said, another discussion.
So here we go, round two, 5 more rotations left - 1 of which is a graduate project, 1/2 of family med, peds, ER and Ecuador. I can do it. One day at a time....
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